


Let me hold you for a while

by under_a_linden_tree



Category: Slow Show - mia_ugly
Genre: Comfort, Erasmus just wants to cheer William up, Established Relationship, M/M, because he deserves it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22364962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_a_linden_tree/pseuds/under_a_linden_tree
Summary: They’re visiting Neath and William is anxious about going back, so Erasmus comforts him.
Relationships: Erasmus/William (Warlock - Slow Show)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38
Collections: Slow Show Metaverse, Warlock fic





	Let me hold you for a while

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Slow Show](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20395261) by [mia_ugly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mia_ugly/pseuds/mia_ugly). 



> A big thank you to narcissisticspaghetti for beta-reading this and to the lovely people in the WPH server whose talk about comfort made me do this.

They’re close to Neath by now, less than a day’s walk away, and William is getting more agitated by the mile. Erasmus has noticed him wringing his hands yesterday; today, he’s worrying at his lower lip and tugging at his sleeves. The nervosity is spreading over to Joshua, who keeps prodding him and asking when dinner will be ready. Julia’s unapologetic smirk isn’t helping him either.

“Why are we having stew again, Erasmus? Why can’t we-”

Erasmus interrupts his next question. “Fetch me the onions, boy.”

Joshua groans but obeys and disappears across their camp, hunting for the backpack filled with food. Erasmus can’t help the little smile as he watches him go; the boy has so few worries on his mind, thinking of nothing more than yet another bland dinner.

It fades quickly, however. William has risen from his log, leaving his tunic behind, half-mended after getting caught in a particularly thorny bramble bush.

He falters for a moment, then he turns toward the forest. Erasmus notices Julia’s gaze is on him, too.

“Do you know where he’s going?” he asks, carefully.

Julia shakes her head. A rush of concern passes across her face. They have a shared fear after all these years, that they might lose sight of each other, but this is different. This is worrying about a friend.

“Go after him,” she says. “I can take over the stew, but he needs you.”

* * *

The sun sets slowly these days and it’s not hard to find William. He has wandered off to the hilltop they passed on the way here, where he can watch the horizon tint in reds and purples. That certainly isn’t the only reason, though. The thatched roofs of Neath are nestled between the soft hills in the distance, the white-washed church tower rising between them like a pillar of salt.

So  _ that _ is on William’s mind.

Erasmus drops down next to him, a heavy tangle of limbs, and William flinches. He is very pale and his lower lip trembles with tension. Erasmus wants to reach out and steady him but he doesn’t dare to - he is still afraid of doing it wrong. Instead, he tries to infuse his voice with a lightness he does not feel.

“What are you up to priest, all alone out here?”

His face turns to stone. “I'm not a priest anymore. I'm not sure if I ever was one.”

The wind is tugging at William’s curls, blowing them out of his face. He looks younger than Erasmus has ever seen him, and more fragile.

He tries to conjure the image of William on the day they first met. It has drilled itself into his memory, an unforgettable background to his dreams and hopes for years. From this point, he can go back further, into the hereunto uncharted lands of his imagination. What might William have been here, a parish priest with an honour to call his own? Would he have looked like this, wrung his hands in the same anxious way?

He has changed so much. It’s written all over him, in the dirt under his nails, the circles that have taken up permanent residence beneath his eyes. In the gash running past the edge of his mouth (It’s a garish pink, a rough contrast to his softness. Erasmus cannot stop thinking about it). Even a year ago, he wouldn’t have left his tunic behind in favour of the simple, partly unlaced doublet.

And yet he is, and is always going to be, William.

“Does it matter?” Erasmus asks, softly.

“It does. To me, at least. That is, I’ve never really been anything else, have I?” He laughs sharply. It’s a bitter little noise and it creeps down Erasmus’s spine, makes him shiver. “Nothing but a - a - bad priest.”

William draws in a deep breath. It sounds like he is choking on a sob. Erasmus braces himself, tries to keep his hands steady but after a few more moments, a dam breaks and the tears that have been building up behind it spill, rolling down William’s cheeks.

Erasmus doesn’t have much experience in comforting people and yet, it comes naturally to him when he sees William like this. He reaches out and takes his hand, gently interlacing their fingers.

“You’re not - and you never were -  _ bad _ . You have compassion and kindness and all the other things that those bastards lack. You’re  _ good _ , William.” Erasmus presses a kiss to his temple. “You’re the best man I ever knew.”

William bites back another sob but it already seems a little lighter. He leans his head against Erasmus’s shoulder and runs a hand over his eyes. Sympathy tugs at the loose threads of his heart, so he wraps his arm around William, hoping to hold them both together.

“I just left them behind, ran away,” William croaks. His voice breaks under the weight of his emotion. “It was nothing but a mistake.”

“What? Running away?“ he asks.

It’s a stab to Erasmus’s soul. He wants to hold him tighter, ensure that William knows  _ he _ does not consider it a mistake. If anybody were to ask him, it benefitted William more than anything. He has become strong and surrounded by love and at most times, sure of himself.

William straightens underneath Erasmus’s arm but he doesn’t push him away (Erasmus knows that he never would, that neither of them could bear the distance returning between them).

“No,” he says, decisively. “Coming back was a mistake.” 

A burden seems to be lifted off their shoulders, for William laughs all of a sudden. “You must be out of your mind if you think I regret these past few years.”

“I don’t think that at all.” He brushes his thumb over William’s knuckles, gently, as though he were afraid of overstepping. Perhaps he still is, somewhere in this mess that was their life together. “But I  _ do  _ think we’ve made it through just fine.”

William smiles. It’s a genuine thing, small but undeniably there. “I think so too, love.”

He shifts so he can press a swift kiss to Erasmus’s lips. The salt of his tears is left behind, a trace of shared sadness. Even though William’s face is still a landscape of smudged red, he fights for the smile to remain on his lips. It’s endearing, but that’s what he always is.

“They won’t hate you,” Erasmus says. “They’ll see that you’re happy and move on with their lives.”

“You’ve turned into an optimist, haven’t you?” William nudges his cheek and Erasmus can’t help the serenity that settles over him, never mind the jab. “I can’t blame you. It’s my good influence.”

Erasmus chuckles. He can feel laughter vibrating through William’s chest as well. It’s good, perfectly good, for them to sit here together, for him to hold William close and kiss him gently, wipe away the tears.

“See? You can’t be bad, even if you tried to,” he mumbles, voice muffled by William’s curls.

They are soft against his face. Erasmus presses another kiss to the top of his head and rests his cheek on William’s hair. He doesn’t let go of him, no. Instead, he rubs gentle circles into his back. William sighs, calmer now.

He could rest like this forever but their peace is disturbed. The rustle of Julia’s skirts cuts through the silence and she rests a hand on William’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to disturb you two but the stew’s ready. If we’re lucky, it’s edible this time around.”

William sighs but he gets up nonetheless, tugging Erasmus with him. “Don’t tell me you let Joshua do the cooking.”

Julia shrugs. “Who am I to deny him?”

Erasmus has a number of opinions on this subject but he decides to keep them to himself. Instead, he focuses on the sound of William’s laughter when Julia recounts Joshua’s cooking misadventures. It’s steadier now.

Tomorrow will be strenuous. It will be a test to all of them but Erasmus is willing to take it. And if everything works out fine, he will prove to William that he was right and that no-one could blame him for making decisions that made him happy.


End file.
